Family Mediation is facilitated by either a
Collaborative Practice Lawyer, or a Family Mediator. Mediation is a
reasonable approach based on three principles
Mutual respect is fundamental to the collaborative way. You may cease being spouses, but you don’t cease being worthy human beings. When respect is given and received, discussions are likely to be more productive and an agreement reached more easily.
The key difference between Collaborative Practice and conventional divorce is the pledge to reach an agreement before going to court. You and your spouse keep control of the decisions yourselves, rather than giving it up to a judge. In order to accomplish that, all of the parties consent in writing to be part of a respectful process that leads to an out-of-court resolution that is legally binding. In Collaborative Practice, the goal is to develop effective relationships, solve problems jointly, and prevent a court battle.
Even under the best of circumstances, communication can be strained as a relationship is ending. Yet keeping the lines of communication open is essential for reaching an agreement. Collaborative Practice provides for face-to-face meetings with you, your spouse, your respective lawyers and your team as needed. These sessions are intended to produce an honest exchange of information and expression of needs and expectations. When the issues are openly discussed, problem solving can be direct and solution focused. Negotiations take place in ‘four-way’ settlement meetings that both the parties and their lawyers attend. The lawyer’s role is to guide and advise the parties towards a reasonable resolution. While the legal advice is an integral part of the process, all of the decisions are made by the parties. Conflict resolution, and an outcome that is satisfactory for both parties and their families, is the objective. If either party chooses or decides to proceed to court then the collaborative process ends, the lawyer’s fees are paid and both collaborative lawyers are disqualified from the process and can no longer act for either party in the context of contested family law proceedings.
The principles of Collaborative Practice are appropriate for other family law matters such as cohabitation and guardianship agreements.
You and your former spouse can choose to resolve matters in mediation.
What is the plan for the children? How will we meet the financial needs of the family? How are decisions made? All these topics are addressed in mediation. The terms of resolution are then written in a Memorandum of Agreement (MOA) that will be used to prepare the Separation Agreement. Your lawyers will draft the Separation Agreement based on the MOU and your instructions, review it with you so you understand your rights and obligations, and execution the documents. Once executed with the assistance of a lawyer, the terms of resolution are binding and enforceable. Mediation builds a durable agreement that is clear, certain and can be flexible to change as the needs of the children and parents change.
There are generally recognized principles of mediation. The mediation process at Academy Family Mediation follows these principles and promotes active participation. These principles include:
Consent
Mediation is a voluntary process in which parties approve to participate, as opposed to court trials that oblige parties to attend.
Impartiality / Inclusivity
A mediator should avoid any sort of favouritism or judgment towards one party. Mediation should be a balanced process in which parties are treated fairly and whose perspectives are respectfully integrated.
Confidentiality
The mediator is bound not to disclose any information they have become aware of during the mediation. Any exceptions to this rule should be made explicit to the parties.
Self-determination
This is the key principle of Mediation and the one element that clearly distinguishes it from litigation. Parties have ownership of the process and the responsibility to find a mutually agreed solution. The role of the mediator is to foster dialogue and facilitate a voluntary resolution of a dispute, not to solve, suggest, or find solutions, and coerce parties into accepting anything they haven’t built themselves. The mediator’s role is to facilitate the free exchange of ideas.
Conflict of Interest
The mediator should not have an interest in the outcome, not even in a peaceful solution.
Competence / Preparation
Training and experience are key in mediation. Typically, it takes a substantial training, practice, and experience to gain accreditation and credibility.
Safety
Mediation should take place in a physically safe place. The mediator should create an environment where parties can freely talk and can trust the integrity of the mediator and the process.
Quality
This aspect refers to all the above and to the mediator’s ability to be aware of their own judgments and assumptions so not to negatively impact the process. The mediator shouldn’t offer opinions on issues of merit or specific subject matter, rather encourage the parties to equip themselves with all the expert support they believe they will need to solve the conflict. A mediator should conduct the mediation fairly, diligently, with sensitivity, civility, and respect.
Some parents feel they need more support than a mediator can provide. The end of a marriage or relationship can be difficult. You and your former spouse or partner may come to see each other as adversaries and the separation as a battleground. You may experience feelings of confusion, anger, loss and conflict. Under such circumstances, you might find it difficult to imagine a hopeful future afterwards. You can have a shared goal of building a future that is in your children’s best interests. You can be loving and capable co-parents for your children.
A growing number of parting couples, along with other professionals such as lawyers, Parent Coaches and financial specialists, have developed a more constructive alternative. These professionals have developed the Collaborative Practice model. Collaborative Practice is a team approach with key professionals available to you, as necessary. When working as a team towards solutions determined by your goals; I can assist you in resolving your family dispute as the Parent Coach. Through a combination of skills and experience we will assist you in determining your goals and selecting the options that you determine will meet those goals.
Collaborative Practice is a reasonable approach to divorce based on three principles:
Mutual respect is fundamental to the collaborative way. You may cease being spouses, but you don’t cease being worthy human beings. When respect is given and received, discussions are likely to be more productive, and an agreement reached more easily.
Even under the best of circumstances, communication can be strained as a relationship is ending. Yet keeping the lines of communication open is essential for reaching an agreement. Collaborative Practice provides for meetings with you and your spouse. Sometimes we will meet as a full team of your respective lawyers and your coaches. These sessions are intended to produce an honest exchange of information and expression of needs and expectations. When the issues are openly discussed, problem solving can be direct and solution focused. Sometimes there is a single coach and sometimes each parent has their own Parent Coach. The chosen approach depends on the context. Collaborative Practice tailors the approach to best meet your needs and provide the optimal results.
The role of the Parent Coach is to work with the parent to develop their plan as co-parents. Productive co-parenting is a commitment to the best interest of your children. The Parent Coach guides you to build that resolution. If either party chooses or decides to proceed to court then the collaborative process ends, collaborative lawyers are disqualified from the process and can no longer act for either party in the context of contested family law proceedings. Your Parent Coach cannot be called to testify in court.
You can learn more at www.collaborativepracticemanitoba.ca
Pamela Leech has worked with families for over 35 years. She has practised as a registered social worker, formerly a family lawyer and is a mediator. Self determination is her guiding principle and believes that parents know their children best. Mediation is a proven approach to resolving the issues that happen in a separation. An agreement reached with the support of mediation provides parents the framework to build a future filled with hope, resilience, and opportunity. Pamela is affiliated with the Alternate Dispute Resolution Institute of Canada, Collaborative Practice Manitoba, and the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals.
Education
To reach out to Pamela, please visit www.academyfamilymediation.com
